Matthew 4
Welcome, LOVED and CHOSEN by God. Have you ever sat and contemplated the fact that YOU really are LOVED and YOU have been CHOSEN by God to be his son/daughter? I have many times over the years and it is truly humbling because I know who I was before I followed Jesus. I know what path I was headed; it was not a good path or a good life.
Matthew 4:18-22 “And Jesus, walking by the Sea of Galilee, saw two brothers, Simon called Peter, and Andrew his brother, casting a net into the sea; for they were fishermen. 19 Then He said to them, “Follow Me, and I will make you fishers of men.” 20 They immediately left their nets and followed Him.
21 Going on from there, He saw two other brothers, James the son of Zebedee, and John his brother, in the boat with Zebedee their father, mending their nets. He called them, 22 and immediately they left the boat and their father, and followed Him.”
I love this section of Scripture because I look at these four men and I am in awe that they could walk away from all that they knew immediately. Jesus gave to invitation and they accepted that invitation. They surrendered all to Him. Do you struggle with surrender like I do?
Before I became a follower of Jesus I remember thinking I will have all of my “fun” now and when I clean up my life I will get saved and follow Jesus. I knew a little about Salvation, I had heard the term, but I did not know the extent of what that entailed. I knew even less about Jesus. I “knew” He had a list of rules and regulations that I was not ready to follow. When Jesus called me I was at the end of myself and I knew I needed a change. I walked an aisle in January of 1988. I was desperate for a change in my life. I drank, a lot. I was a very angry person with a very bad temper. I hated myself. I hated life. I was at a concert when the singer asked, “Are you happy with your life?” “No.” “Do you want more out of life?” “Yes.” “Raise your hand if you want more out of life.” My hand went up and then he said, “If you raised your hand, come up front, and we will pray for you.” My desire for more out of life was more powerful than my gear of everyone watching me so I went. I know without a doubt my life changed that night, but I still functioned in the world.
I was still going to the bars on Saturday night and going to church on Sunday mornings. I was still hanging out with the friends that were on the path I was on, but now I shared Jesus. Those friends soon disappeared. I still would still cuss someone out for cutting me off in traffic. I would still fight someone if they ticked me off. Five months after I walked the aisle I got pregnant. In my mind I knew that I had failed and this Jesus thing was not for me. I stopped going to church because of the shame of my sin showing on the outside. My family was disappointed in me. My friends were disappointed in me. I just knew God was disappointed to.
Two things changed my thinking. When I gave birth to my awesome daughter, the Pastor came to visit me in the hospital. He asked me if I was married and with tears and shame I told him, “No.” He then surprised me by saying, “Good, too many people try to cover up on sin and end up in another sin.” For the first time ever, I was shown Jesus in action.
The second thing is I was accepted by a group of twenty somethings that did not look down upon me in condemnation but loved me right where I was. They modeled who Jesus was with love and acceptance. I had the desire to stop cussing because my new friends did not cuss. I had the desire to stop drinking because me new friends weren’t drinking. I was challenged to read the Word for myself and I picked up The Good News Bible and started in John. When I thought I had to clean up everything before following Jesus, He met me right where I was. He sent others to help guide and lead me along the way. He reminded me more times than I can count that I had a daughter who needed me too. I changed many things in the first two years after walking the aisle, but He was not done with me.
For me, many years later, I am still learning to surrender. I am still in a place of learning. I am still in a place where I stumble and fall. Thankfully I have Proverbs 24:16 (A) that tells me, For a righteous man may fall seven times and rise again.” Thankfully I have my Abba, who calls me, “Precious One.” Thankfully He quickens in me when I have stumbled and fallen. Thankfully His mercies are new every single morning. Thankfully I have never and will never go so far that He will not be there for me.
